PRACTICAL JOKE  恶作剧
by mistressinwaiting
Summary: Naruto and Hinata's wedding… It's just like everyone else's except the girls are wearing tuxedoes and the men are wearing dresses! Now, how did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura stop Sasuke from invading Konoha during this?
1. Kiss 1 第一之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Okay… This is my 20th fanfic, and yeah, I'm happy about that… Let's see, what else do I have to say? Hm… I was bored today, so I just decided to use what I had lying around. I actually typed this up a long while ago, maybe about two _years_ ago, and never used it. So . . . yeah… I've decided to turn this into a fanfic, so I hope you guys enjoy it. I think I'll just use really short chapters for this story. I'm thinking maybe in five chapters this will be done. Oh, and this named off of a Taiwanese drama, kay? I won't tell you guys the name and all since I'm lazy today, but you get it, right?**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 1

恶作剧 – 第一之吻

**_Mr. and Mrs. Hyuga_**

**_Request the honor of your presence_**

**_At the marriage of their eldest daughter_**

**Hinata**

**_To_**

**Naruto Uzumaki**

**_On Saturday, the second of May, 2009_**

**_At 3:00 in the afternoon_**

**_In the Hyuga manor_**

"Oh, that's great! You two are _finally_ tying the knot!" Sakura exclaimed after reading the invite. She was so happy. After all, it took Naruto—how long was it again?—maybe three full _years_ to actually propose to the Hyuga heiress. So the sound of wedding bells were music to Sakura's ears.

"Yes, b-b-but . . . we h-have something to a-ask of you, Sakura-chan."

"Huh? Is something wrong, Naruto? You're stuttering just like Hinata-chan!" Sakura crossed her arms. She didn't like where this was going. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet now, Naruto! You, who faced death more than a _thousand_ times, can_not_ back down from his own _wedding_! I'll _drag_ you to the chapel if I have to! And you know I _will_."

"N-no! It's not that…" Hinata defended her soon-to-be-husband. "We . . . we . . . want to ask you . . . to . . . to be part of the wedding…"

"_What_?" Sakura made a shocking realization just then. "_No_! Don't tell me you want me to be one of your _bridesmaid_! I may have been the first one to approve of this wedding, but it doesn't mean—"

"What? That you have _regrets_ about giving them your blessings?" Ino jumped into the conversation.

"_Never_! It's just that . . . that . . ." Sakura racked her brains for excuses. "I don't have anything to wear…" she said after a few seconds. "Plus, I don't exactly like shopping for clothes…"

"But! But—"

"No buts! I've already turned down the offer for my cousin's wedding, and yet you're asking me for the same thing for _your_ wedding? I'll tell you this much: my mind hasn't changed since then, and nothing—and I mean, _nothing_—is going to change my mind now!"

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**And so, the first chapter is done! Tell me how you like it so far!**


	2. Kiss 2 第二之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Yay! Another chapter! Oh, and you guys this story is really just for my pleasure. I really have no idea what I'm trying to do right now cuz I'm brain's like bored and dead. Please enjoy!**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 2

恶作剧 – 第二之吻

And so, for the next couple of days, not only did Hinata and Naruto continue to _beg_ Sakura to be part of their wedding but so did the rest of their friends from Konoha 11 including the really annoying Ino who could talk for hours at a time, the anti-social Sai who said things that really didn't make any sense, the really creeping Rock Lee who started going on about how he and Sakura could get married afterwards, and the very boring and over-protective Neji Hyuga. This went on for 24/7, much to Sakura's dismay. Almost _everyone_ had to beg her. Naruto even got Tsunade, Shizune, and Gaara (who was just so happened to be dropping by) to help him. And soon, Sakura had to flee to the borders of the Leaf village just for some peace and quiet.

"Alright! I've had enough of this _crap_!" she screamed. It wasn't like she didn't _want_ to be Hinata's bridesmaid and be there to support her and stuff. It's just that she . . . she… Oh, she didn't know _why_ she couldn't accept Hinata and Naruto's offer. She just…

"Urgh! This is so _FRUSTRATING_! Why can't they just leave me _alone_? The girls are as _rowdy_ as the boys are, and the boys are as _annoying_ as the girls are! I just wish that there was _some way _I could show them how they look to me!"

And then suddenly, a wonderful idea came to Sakura's mind.

"I got it! It's the perfect way to save my ass!"

_**It's brilliant! Mwa-ha-ha!**_

_Okay, Inner, chillax. We're not planning on taking over Konoha or anything. It's just a simple get-out-of-something plan._

_**Got it! And so, I'll say, "**__**Yippie!"**_

_That's even worse…_

_**Do you **_**want**_** the evil laughter again?**_

_You can continue cheering._

_**Yay!**_

But little did Sakura and her Inner know that someone they knew was planning at that every moment to _destroy_ their home village. And that _retard_ was none other than her ex-teammate—and crush, though she wouldn't admit it—Sasuke Uchiha.

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**_Da-da-dum_! And this chapter is done! Left you off on a sour note, didn't I? Sorry but, as I said, this fanfic is only for my pleasure since I've got nothing better to do. Oh, and I think this is my first fanfic where I have Sakura actually talk with her Inner. Funny, huh? Thank you and please review!**


	3. Kiss 3 第三之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Yay! Here's the third chapter! Oh, and with the way things are going, there will probably be about ten chapters in this fanfic—if not more. So . . . yeah… Also, I'm not sure which couple I want to make the main couple, so this is just going to be jumping around for a while, kay? Please enjoy!**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 3

恶作剧 – 第三之吻

The next morning, all of Konoha 11 found Sakura in the training grounds and Operation: Not-Going-To-Be-Part-of-Wedding started.

"Ok, I have a proposition," Sakura started. "More of a bet, actually. If _you_ guys win, I will be part of your wedding."

"_Okay_…" Naruto said, a bit wary of the kunoichi's proposition. "What happens if we lose?"

"If _I_ win, I get to design the whole wedding in _my_ vision. But I'll help you guys pay for a second wedding if you guys want."

Naruto and Hinata exchanged glances. It wouldn't hurt, would it? After all, Sakura was known to be very reasonable if her friends were in misery. They glanced at the people behind them who were saying things like, "Go for it!" and, "It won't hurt ya, you know!" and, "Sakura's Tsunade's student! She's bad at gambling!"

"Fine, what's the game?" Naruto asked, knowing it wouldn't be easy.

"Put five scratches on me by 5 o'clock today." Sakura answered. "So . . . you've got close to six hours. And . . . START!"

And the whole thing started like this. There's reason to say Naruto and his group _did_ get more than five scratches onto Sakura, and they were close to winning. However, they did forget one _important_ detail about Sakura's proposition. The fact that she could heal _all_ of her wounds made keeping five scratches on her for six hours almost _impossible_. And when time was up . . . guess who won…

If ya guessed Naruto and them then you'd be so wrong cuz Sakura turned out to be the winner. Whoever made the declaration of sakura being a bad gambler was so dead. And as Sakura's decree as winner, she decided that her friends had way _too much _pride—almost as much as a certain Uchiha who shall _not_ be named—and so she sentenced her friends to the ultimate clothes-swap in front of an audience that included the whole village of Konoha and more from the other villages. Oh, how unlucky were they…

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**Yes! This chapter is done, and now only just a few more until the ultimate climax! Mwa-ha-ha! Ahem. I hoped you guys enjoyed this so please review!**


	4. Kiss 4 第四之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Yay! A new chapter! Happy day! I'm sorry that I didn't update this in a while, but I only got _one_ review on this story so I thought I could just put this on hiatus for a while since… Well, anyway, here's the fourth chapter! Enjoy! But I don't know how you could since this chapter's so _boring_…**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 4

恶作剧 – 第四之吻

And in the next two days, the corrections were being made to Hinata and Naruto's wedding. Of course, Sakura was the foreseer of this whole operation since she had won the bet and everything. Both of the marrying peoples were okay with Sakura doing things her way since they agreed to the bet, but her idea was just a bit… There was just no way to put it. Hinata was fine with it since she wasn't going to be the one that was going to be embarrassed as much, but Naruto . . . he . . . let's say, he just _really_ didn't want to be the one wearing white. And though he asked Sakura over and over again to change her mind, she just wouldn't budge.

"A bet is a sacred promise that _has_ to be honored," she said.

That just left Naruto _completely_ with cold feet. He had actually wanted to _back out _of his own wedding a few times, but Sakura and the others made it clear to him that if he walked out on Hinata then he'd be walking out on _all_ of them and his Hokage title—not to mention that his future father-in-law would castrate him if he ever backed out on his daughter.

And so Naruto just sucked it up. (But he only stopped complaining when Sakura and Hinata distracted him with a few hundred of bowls of ramen.) Now the only thing he was really complaining about was the fact that his ex-teammate (who was his first choice of a bestman) wasn't there, saying that the Teme should've gotten the invitation by now.

But little did he know that the Uchiha, with or without reading the invitation, was coming to the wedding and _not_ with good intentions.

✿｡.:***A Week Later***:.｡✿

That Saturday morning was marked with fireworks, bright ones that put the sky to shame. Flowers and ribbons decorated Konoha, and all of Konoha and even guests from other villages and lands were gathered on one side of a large lake. The area surrounding the lake was even more decorated with **[INSERT WHATEVER WEDDING DECORATIONS THAT'S BEAUTIFUL YOU COULD THINK OF]**. And all of this was courtesy of the Haruno who was bent on making this the biggest event in all of Konoha, the Land of Fire, and even the whole ninja world. But right when the festivities were supposed to begin…

"Sakura!"

Seeing the women's worried face, Sakura could only fathom what was going to happen. "Shizune, what is it?"

"There's been a report that Uchiha Sasuke and his team are heading this way to _destroy_ Konoha!"

"_What_?" _How dare he come and mess up my plans! Why does he always come when no one wants him to?_

"Should I tell Naruto and prepare everyone?" Shizune asked her because Sakura had been put in charge that day. Tsunade had given her the title of Hokage since she was to run the whole wedding (and because Tsunade lost to her at poker).

Sakura thought about it, and a little idea popped into her head. "No," she said. "Don't tell Naruto."

"What? But then . . . what are you—"

"I've got an idea," the cherry blossom said. "I've always wanted to see how Sasuke would react if someone blackmailed him…"

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**And that's it! I'll get the next chapter up faster next time, kay? Thank you and please review!**


	5. Kiss 5 第五之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Yay! A new chapter! Yeah, I know I said I'd update quickly last time, but I got caught up with some midterms and tests, and I had almost no time whatsoever to write my fanfics. Sorry, but in that time, I had gotten a whole lot of good blackmailing on Sasuke so . . . let the blackmailing chapter begin!**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 5

恶作剧 – 第五之吻

Okay, so right now, the scene has changed to outside of Konoha. Here, there was absolutely no sign of the festivities going on within the village. So, yeah, when Sasuke (and the rest of his group and Madara) saw Sakura blocking their way in a fancy dress and holding a megaphone, they were wondering whether or not she had lost her mind. And when she started to cry like a whining helpless baby when they told her to scram, yeah . . . it _so_ wasn't at all ninja-like.

"No! No! You can't destroy Konoha! Not today! Not after I've done so much! Come back tomorrow or some other day, just _not_ today!"

"Sakura, I actually don't care what day I destroy Konoha." the Uchiha said, finally up to his limit with her annoying gestures, "But you _do_ know that crying in front of my team and I will do you no good, right? I'm not going to change my mind just because you're being _extremely_ annoying today."

"Oh, I know," the kunoichi said, all her tears dried up—in fact, she looked as though she hadn't been crying at all. "That's why I came with a back-up plan."

"Che, you don't actually _believe_ you can _beat_ me, do you?"

"Who said anything about fighting?" Sakura asked. And in a puff of smoke, she disappeared, only to reappear in front of Karin. "Well, you look like a Sasuke fangirl, so I'm going to give you an extraordinary offer. For no charge at all, I'm willing to give you these adorable pictures of Sasuke in neko-form[1]! And I repeat, they're _free_ of charge!"

Sasuke almost choked on his own breath when he heard Sakura's words. When did she ever take pictures during that mission? In fact, when did she ever have a camera?

"OH MY GOD! THESE ARE SO _CUTE_!"

"Oh god, I didn't know you had it in you, Sasuke!"

"Aw…"

"He kinda looks like Itachi when he had to do this too…"

"And I even have a video!" Sakura added. "If you guys want to see this, I'll let you have it then!"

And that was where the Uchiha drew the line.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Well, not _literally_… But you readers know what I mean!

He grabbed Sakura by her wrist and dragged her far away from his group. He glared at her with which she just smiled at him.

"Surrender yet?"

His glare was not the answer she was looking for.

"Fine…" Sakura shrugged. "But don't say I didn't warn you!" And she placed the megaphone against her mouth. Then she yelled as loud as she could, "UCHIHA SASUKE IS _SO_ GAY! HIS FIRST KISS WAS WITH NA—"

"_FINE_!"

"I'm sorry," Sakura said. "I didn't _quite_ get that. Say it again or I'll tell the whole world that you kissed Naruto _twice_.[2]"

"How did you know about that?"

"I have my sources, but _anyway_! Your answer is…?"

". . . . Fine, I'll help you with whatever is you want."

_Score!_

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**Done! Oh, and for all of you wondering, the blackmailing is no joke. They actually happened in either the Naruto manga or anime series. Here's the list:**

**[1] = in _Shippuden_ episode 189, Sasuke and Team 7 are forced to wear cat ears to infiltrate the cat village. They are also forced to act like cats, including Sasuke. Near the end, it shows a flashback of Itachi also wearing the cat ears. And in this episode, my sisters have commented that they are new hints of SasuSaku.**

**[2] = Naruto and Sasuke did kiss again in _Shippuden_ episode 194**

**Tune in next time! Please read my new onshot, _LOVER_!**


	6. Kiss 6 第六之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Yay! A new chapter! I'm so sorry I neglected this fanfic! But no one was reviewing, so I thought it'd be okay to postpone its update for a while. I was busy trying to update my other fanfics. So sorry! I can't believe I haven't updated for, like, five months! I'm so sorry!**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 6

恶作剧 – 第六之吻

Sakura couldn't stop herself from beaming. As she looked down on all the festivities and the nice clear lake, she couldn't help it but let her smile grow as big as it possibly could. She would _never_ let Naruto live this down. He'd pay for what he did.

"Oy, Pinkie, you should stop smiling like that or your face will get stuck."

"Quiet, Suigetsu. Don't ruin my reign of terror."

Team Hebi and Madara sweatdropped. Reign of terror? Really now?

"Now, you guys stand behind this nice thingy-majingy…"

"You mean the folding screen?" Karin asked.

"Whatever it's called, just get behind it! Naruto can't see you guys _yet_!" And so, once Sakura managed to push the team behind the folding screen, her smile returned. "Oh, you guys can see the wedding through those peeping holes."

"Um . . . if you don't want Naruto to see us, couldn't we have just put on a transformation jutsu?" Juugo asked.

"Stop trying to undermine me!" Sakura whined, stomping her foot. "Can't you let me have my way for _once_?"

"_Che_, annoying…"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, Sasuke." It was then that she took out her megaphone and addressed the wedding guests. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome you to Hyuga Hinata and Uzumaki Naruto's public wedding! For those of you lucky enough to have gotten an invitation to their private wedding sponsored by the Hyuga clan, I congradulate you, too." She waited for the applause to stop. "And before we start the ceremony, a word of caution: for those of you who are _horribly_ traditional in your ways of thinking,"—her mood suddenly turned eviler than Madara's—"I do _not_ want to hear a word of complaint from you! And that includes _you_ too, Daddy!" And when no one said a word, she was as peachy as can be again. "_Good_! Now we'll start the ceremony!"

Happy wedding music played and a boat came out onto the lake.

"Please introduce our grooms-women!"

There was hesitation at first, almost as if no one could believe their ears. But then there was a round of applause as Temari, Tenten, and Ino walked onto the piece of land in front of the bridge where Sakura stood. They wore not dresses but tuxedoes.

The music continued and another boat came.

"And please introduce our _beautiful_ groom, Hyuga Hinata! All questions pertaining to how I got the Hyuga family to agree to this will be answered _after_ the ceremony!"

And cute, adorable Hinata was met with a loud claps and whistles as she took her position next to her girl friends in suits.

Soon, another boat came.

"And now, please help me in welcoming the bridesmen! Clap loud, you guys! It took me a _long _while to get these people to agree with this."

Laughter accompanied the applause this time as Shikamaru, Neji, and Sai came into view. They all donned on dresses. In fact, they were tripping on their high heels as they tried to steady themselves on the island.

"God, I'm lucky I turned down my invitation to be the dobe's best man," Sasuke muttered.

"Don't worry much, Sasu-chan." Sakura said, covering the megaphone's speaker. "I made _sure_ you still had a part in the wedding so that you weren't left out." And as Sasuke's smirk dropped, Sakura spoke again to the crowd. "Now, last but not least, please welcome our _handsome_ bride! Everyone's favorite dobe—yes, he's even his _rival's_ favorite dobe—Uzumaki Naruto!"

And as everyone turned to get a look at the "bride," they couldn't believe their eyes.

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**Ooh, what happened? Did Naruto get cold feet and run from the wedding? Or did he stay and is waiting for his humiliation? Find out next time!**


	7. Kiss 7 第七之吻

-Naruto and Hinata's public wedding… It's just like everyone else's except . . . the groom and his groomsmen have to swap clothes with the bride and her bridesmaids (meaning that the guys have to wear dresses)! Now, how in the world did the guys agree to this? And how did Sakura cheat her way into making this happen?

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**Okay, yes, I know this is . . . like, a bit _more_ than four months late, but I _really_ was caught up with a lot of school work this time and . . . my other fanfics… But it was mostly because of schoolwork! I have a 56% in computer class just because I had too many absences to make up my work! And I'm so behind in updating all of my other stories! I bet everyone has just given up on me! I'm so sorry I'm a failure, guys! But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

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PRACTICAL JOKE – Kiss 7

恶作剧 – 第七之吻

Sakura was _fuming._ No, scratch that. She was horribly _irritated._ How _dare_ he! How dare Naruto _defy_ her like this! Did he even _know_ who she _was?_ She was Haruno Sakura, _apprentice_ to the Godaime Hokage herself, for pete's sake! And if Sakura had been scary as a genin, oh, she was scarier _now!_ And so, yeah, he was in for it this time. _Big._ Time.

"Oh, he's so _dead…"_ she growled. "How _dare_ he use jasmines instead of sunflowers for the bouquet! We _agreed_ that we would use a play-on-words with Hinata's name! How _dare_ he do this!"

"You're more worried about the _flowers_ he's holding?" Sasuke asked, almost as if he couldn't believe his ex-teammate. "Have you _seen_ what he's _wearing?"_

And indeed, Naruto was wearing a _[hideous]_ orange dress. And not only did the flowers not match his dress of choice, but everyone there couldn't tell which would have been better—if Naruto had sleeves on or not—because, right now, Naruto wore a sleeveless dress and . . . well, let's just say, his _manly_ biceps _so_ did _not_ suit that girly and frilly dress he wore. To top it off, his hair was coming completely undone. Just what _exactly_ did he do to himself to make himself look so . . . _ehhh?_

"Well, yeah, I mean, his outfit was already decided upon _before_ the ceremony." Sakura said, shaking it off. "He looks just _fine."_

"He's wearing a black veil with an orange dress that has yellow ribbons," Karin complained.

"Well, Naruto wouldn't wear anything else." Sakura whined childishly. "And besides, it's _wonderful_ blackmail material." And she started taking a couple dozens of pictures as Naruto's brides-men tried to _force_ him out of the boat and onto the walkway to the altar.

Madara could only shake his head. "Oh, how Konoha has changed…" And then suddenly he jumped up in joy. "It's gotten _so much more_ amusing!"

Sasuke wanted to kill himself. "Ugh, why am I surrounded by _idiots?"_

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**Not a good chapter, but I guess it's okay. Please review to complain if not comment. I really couldn't come up with anything for the chappie.**


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